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Management
Tips for kids with Difficult Traits
Knowing how to handle each behavior
that results from having a difficult temperment can change the
pattern of ill-feelings and helplessness that both parent and child
experience.
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How
They Grow: Birth through Age Twelve
If we know what to expect at each
stage of development, it is easier to decide if our child's behavior
is "normal." Knowing what to expect can help parents deal
with the frustrations and problems that are quite normal for each
age.
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If
this is normal, why can't I stand it?
"If a child's behavior is normal
for that age, but not a particularly positive behavior, can
the parent do something about it?" Guidelines for getting
through the rough spots.
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The
Importance of Setting Limits
Setting limits is difficult but no one
ever said parenting was an easy task. Parents must set limits for
their children. No one else can discipline with the same love,
affection, and concern as a parent. When kids know where the limits
are, they feel safe.
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Three-Step
Discipline Plan
If getting kids to do what must be
done becomes a struggle, family life becomes a major hassle. The
following Three Stage Discipline Plan is offered as a way to make
sense of the options parents have in working with their children.
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Discipline:
Using Natural and Logical Consequences to Teach
It is the parents' job to see that the
every child experiences the consequences of his or her own behavior.
Punishment won't work but discipline will! When behavior and
consequences are directly related, the child learns. Parents can
provide the means or the situation for teaching and learning to
occur.
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Instead
of Orders, Offer Choices
For parents, bossing is a quick
response. "Just do it!" Bossing, however, doesn't work. It
creates time-consuming problems and it deprives children of
opportunities for learning to make decisions. There is a better way.
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Recipe
for Successful Time-Outs
These cookbook steps to successful
time-outs work! If you follow the steps EXACTLY, Dr. Rimm promises
that..."Children will become much calmer, will obey most of
your requests, and won't behave as obnoxious little brats. You'll be
in control of your children and you'll be a much more confident
parent."
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What
To Do (and Not To Do) When Siblings Fight
Children under the same roof quarrel,
bicker, argue, fight, and engage in other disagreeable forms of
socialization. These techniques solve sibling conflicts.
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Simple
Steps to Stop Arguers
Arguments tend to be of two types: the
argument that follows a parent's request and the argument that
follows a child's request. The following techniques address both
kinds of arguments with one goal -- To Stop Arguing!
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Empty
Threats and Fake Choices: BIG MISTAKES
Parents can say the most ridiculous
things at times. Most of us have been guilty at one time or another
of making empty threats or offering fake choices. Neither approach
will motivate or inspire kids to cooperate.
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Parenting
Guidelines
By experience, I've found that it is
better to prevent problems than solve them. The following guidelines
are as close to "rules" as I care to get.
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Ways
to Reduce the Hassles
The following are common sense
parenting tips that make the job of raising children less of a
hassle for parents and children.
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Useless
Power Struggles to Avoid
Eating, sleeping, and elimination
respond to internal cues, not orders and children do what they feel
like doing. The problems start when these basic functions must be
fitted into the way the rest of the world lives.
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Parental
Authority - It's an Attitude
An adult's authority with children
comes from a matter-of-fact attitude about the business at hand. The
tone of one's voice, the volume, the pitch, and the purposefulness
with which something is said convey authority to a child. If there
is a hint of begging or pleading, all authority is lost.
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It's
a Mistake to be TOO Nice
Children have an instinctive ability
to beg and plead their way out of consequences. They honestly
believe that they will never do it again, but they will. Giving in
to a child's distress and agony is not a kind thing to do.
Sometimes, you have to be tough to be a parent.
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Parenting
is a management job, not a dictatorship.
Trying to force children into battles
over obedience is a miserable way to live. Instead of seeing
parenting as a dictatorship, see the task of parenting as a
management challenge. If daily life is a struggle at your house,
here are a few suggestions that might help.
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To
spank or NOT to spank
Some people say that spanking is child abuse.
Other people say that spanking is necessary. Is spanking necessary?
Questions about spanking still divide parents.
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A
Matter of Obedience
Is blind obedience what we really want
from our kids? Children are inquisitive and bright enough to ask
"why" and expect an explanation. They want to understand
the rules and injuctions they are expected to follow. They want to
think for themselves. There is a solution.
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A
Kitchen Timer -- Great Tool for Parents
Every family needs an objective,
non-partisan referee for daily events. The kitchen timer can be just
that. A kitchen timer is one of the most useful tools a parent can
own.
