The Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy Sex

Learning how to distinguish healthy sex from other forms of sex can empower you to bring Healthy Sex more into your own life.

The chart below outlines how healthy sexuality differs from abusive sex and addictive sex.

Sexual Abuse and Addiction	Healthy Sex
Sex is uncontrollable energy	Sex is controllable energy
Sex is an obligation	Sex is a choice
Sex is addictive	Sex is a natural drive
Sex is hurtful	Sex is nurturing, healing
Sex is a condition for love or devoid of love	Sex is an expression of love
Sex is "doing to" someone	Sex is sharing with someone; sex is part of who I am
Sex is void of communication	Sex requires communication
Sex is secretive	Sex is private
Sex is exploitative	Sex is respectful
Sex is deceitful	Sex is honest
Sex benefits one person	Sex is mutual
Sex is emotionally distant	Sex is intimate
Sex is irresponsible	Sex is responsible
Sex is unsafe	Sex is safe
Sex has no limits	Sex has boundaries
Sex is power over someone	Sex is empowering
Sex requires a double life	Sex enhances who you really are
Sex compromises your values	Sex reflects your values
Sex feels shameful	Sex enhances self esteem

Next: Sexual Health Risks Checklist

Last reviewed: 10/05